Paintings...

"4 new Psychobilly Freak Paintings for your pleasure...and for you to purchase if you like"

Christmas-onic

It is the Christmas Eve today...
I normally disregard such things as foolery...
But i shall put on my Victorian Garb Nontheless...

Radioactive...

My Psychobilly Blog
http://theradioactivekid.blogspot.com/

Psychobilly

Radioactive kids...

Crackhead

Johnny Monsta

King Rocker

Monster Zombies...

9.07

i shall open my letters...cut off my hair...lift heavy things...and punch and kick things...for this is my day off...but i only had an extra 20 minutes lie in...

Thunderstruck

I heard the noise of thunder...
I pulled on my shorts and went out into the storm to get wet
I like to listen to the noise...
I like how the world shakes...
I like to see the sky get angry...
I stood still amongst the rain till i was soaked through...
I jumped in my car and drove to the beach...
I don't need any shoes...
I ran there and back with just shorts versus the rain...
I love storms...
I stole its power...
I shall keep it for later...
I might let darth vader keep it for me...

Peter Beardsley

weird beard hair face...

Cadillac

Riverside

1
I eat Heinz vegeterian beans...
I am very cold...
I smash holes in walls with a strange long hammer...
I cut peoples hair off...
I'm the best swimmer in mexico...
I drink green juice...
I have no money...
2
I like sunshine...
I like playing with the hosepipe...
I like the trampoline...
I like throwing grapefruits at people...
I don't like getting wrong at the Rock climbing place...
I like Albertsons Supermarket...
I like driving the crappy van...
I don't like almost killing a dog...
I think that Riverside microwaves peoples heads...
3
I normally like sundays...but i didn't like today...it was shit
4
I am illin'...not chillin'
I woke up this morning feeling terrible...
I am a Zombie...my stomach feels like a dead bowling ball
I dance in limbo to the horrible beat in my head...
I am Radioactive...
I feel like a frozen crapply built wooden man...
I think perhaps i have a mysterious plague...
I don't think i deserve it.
5
I can't sleep worth a shit...
I am only half a Zombie today...
I wish Stater Bros made better Special K...
I wish the sun was out...
I don't like being gnipped by pliers...
I hate traffic...
I need some god damn lettuce...
I miss bread but i shall not eat it...
6
I like it to hear the Banana Splits theme tune...
I quite like the PT Cruiser...
I think Ballys shakes are shite...
I want the sun to come out...
I count 29...
I can swim the 16 again...
I think the 909 is ridiculous...
7
I now own fantastic stories of imagination...
I don't know french...
I like the look of the 10th planet...
I don't dig that New Orleans rice...
8
I don't like being stuck in the back of the PT like a sardine...
I like Compton...
I need some god damned rest...
I don't like the food here...
I like drawing ravens...
I like rolling down Whispering Spur Canyon in the shitheap...
I like Tom Jones...
I shall miss Ballys ghetto gym...
9
I get up too damn early...
I worship the suns rays...
I love monsters...
I like to converse in spanish...
I like to aimlessly wander HB...
I love Chevrolet Impala...
I don't love the 91...
I don't know why they call it daylight savings...
I hope i don't get dragged to church...it's shite
10
I didn't go to Jesus's house...
I sat in the garden instead...
I think i ate too many halls soothers...
11
I did what i wanted today...
I had a Jiu-Jitsu day...
I got some 10th planet...my legs are stilts and my neck is a toilet roll tube...
I aquired new moves...
I watched renzo...
I ate too many newmans own rice cakes...cos i love paul
12
I woke up feeling like a scarecrow...all broken up and busted
I quite like it...not as much as i like Acai though...
13
I don't like getting up at 7 for court...
I need some naked juice...and more sleep...
I shall hide in the garage...
14
I like sitting on the curb outside 7-11
I took some more Jiu-Jitsu and an Eddie Bravo seminar...
I'm still writing at 1am...not a good move...
15
I woke up early with a pair of zombie eyes...
I tried to look through them but they only saw more bed...
I washed them out with an orange...
I rode the mystery machine west...
I frequented Redondo...
I walked the corridors of Oakley...and wrote on walls
I ate rice and beans...
oh...and
I miss my girlfriend...
16
I don't like waking up early at weekends...but i do
I don't like clouds today...
I do like special k though...i shall devour a bowl
I don't like being preached to...
I don't like jesus freaks apart from the ones on convoy...
I shall walk my own path thank you very much...
I'm old
I'm tired...and i am a miserable bastard...
17
I pretend to be asleep when called at 9am on a sunday...
I hate myself for eating tostaditas...
18
I went an got some more Jiu-Jitsu but...
I now have a dislocated elbow to go with my poor shoulder...
I'm falling to pieces...
I am not happy...
I tried to got to rehab...but
I am red...
I need a bucket of ice and a rice cake...
19
I like Hermosa...
I don't like that Greekos is gone...
I like sunlight and strawberry smoothies...
20
I am reminded of venerable bede...
I do not avoid the suns rays...
I eat beans and rice...
I quite like kicking things...
I am burgundy...
21
I don't like being stuck at the house...
I'm going Stir Crazy and my hair is like Gene Wilder...
I want to swim...
I aquired the chrysler and rode out...
I like getting green lights all the way down trautwein...
I eventually swam...
I had a late night jesus debate...
I am wrecked...
22
I got blamed for writing on the wall...
I went out over to the gym for a while...
I stayed up late typing this bloody interview...
23
I really didn't do anything good apart from fight the dogs...
I put on the spacesuit...
I swam...
I ate leaves...
I wish i was home...
24
I had the shittest morning ever...
I didn't leave the house all day...
I am shipwrecked...
I hear my car is fixed though...woo hoo...thanks paul
25
I dug a hole ...and put mason in it
I went out over to Redondo...
I raided flies...
I tried to chill but the phone wouldn't leave me on my bill...
26
I drove west to Artesialand...
I wandered around...
I am a day Zombie...
I would like to punch the fat nanny...
27
I worshipped the suns rays...
I sang out aloud...
I crashed the mystery machine into a telegraph pole...
I dented the side all to hell...
I smashed the window...
I drank the green juice...
28
I don't remember cos it was 3 days ago...
I wee'd in cups...
29
I woke in in Las Vegas...
30
I fell in love with a 1964 caddilac...
I got destroyed by the 5 hour journey home...
I ate crap...but not real crap...but crap all the same
31
I slept late...
I did some Jiu-Jitsu...
I worshipped Rah...
I am still wrecked...
32
I had an early wake up call and rode out to Hermosa...
I made footsteps through the mall...
I drank smoothies...
I spent lots of money...
I didn't get any sun...
I think times going slow...
I count 2...
33
I drove out to HB on a mission...
I basked in the sunshine for a bit...
I threw the kid in a bush...
I hit Big Daddy with a hammer...
I shall see you soon...
34
I was stranded...
I bought some new hooves...
I made it home...

Bleak

Smokes tabs

it is a fact that every single person that comes from North Shields smoke tabs ...this was a piece of graffiti to let them know that we know

Shit

Heed blown off

Blue Sunshine

Straightjacket

The tramp hotel...whitley bay

"Down on the lower promenade a tramp built a house out of a busted quarterpipe"

Monster Pigbeast

i first heard the story of the pigbeast way back in 1982 when i was a young boy,
princess anne had came to open marden quarry as a nature reserve and hundreds of people showed up to see her cut the red ribbon and a glorious summers day...in the daytime the place was a picture...back then the water was clean and clear,and packed with fish...swans and ducks sailed by majestically to a soundtrack of a real frog chorus...but at night...this place got real spooky...only the brave dared walk the dark and narrow paths that ran through the almost sinister trees...and there was a reasonfor hundreds of years it had been said that this place was haunted...by a monster...a pig monsterthe new nature reserve had been a limestone quarry since 1600 and was no stranger to mysterious occurancesover the years terrified witness's told they'd seen the beastit was said it was gaunt to the point of emaciation mostly hidden underneath the tattered robes of a monk with glowing red eyes and a blood soaked snout...an un-natural beast in every sense...half human-half pig with a taste for flesh...its complexion the ash gray of death...and its fiery eyes pushed back deep into their sockets...the pigbeast looked like a gaunt skeleton recently disenterred from the grave....it walked with the aid of a staff but moved like the wind with no sound cept a blood curdling squeal...Upon its ghoulish face,what lips it had were tattered and bloody...barely hiding crooked and vicious fangs which tore flesh from bone...Unclean and suffering from suppurations of the flesh...a walking abomination...a ghost in every sense of the wordThe pigbeast gave off a strange and eerie odor of decay and decomposition of death and corruption enough to paralyse anyone fool enough to wander into its lair...sightings of a pig faced monster had been reported by many terrified local for hundreds of yearsand there was many old books telling the story of the legendme and a few friends from school went to the quarry one summers night to see if what we'd heard and read aboutwas true,for the most part we just walked around scaring each other whilst drinking cans of ace lager and smoking john player specials...but after a few hours something actually happened...we had made a small fire and were sitting around shooting the shit when we saw something move in the trees by an opening...we fell silent and struggled to see what it was then all of a sudden this thing ran across a clearing and disappeared in the undergrowth beyond...a few people screamed and began to run...a few ran in the direction it had went to investigate but it was gone...there was panic...that wasn't a maneveryones account of what they'd see differed...some said it ran on all fours...it was about 4 feet tall...some said taller...some said it was hairy...but what i'd seen was a perculiar little thing wearing a hood...and it moved fasti saw it for a good couple of seconds but then it was gone...the following day at school the story had got around and the fear had turned to exitmentth next night there was dozens of kids at the quarrylooking for the beast armed with penknives,catapults and even gat guns...most had gone home by the time anything happened, everyone will tell you they were there but the truth is there was only about 6 of us left to witness the beast,we'd all been playing on the rope swing that swang out over the water and some of us had falled in and were wet,everybody was ready to call it a night at about 11 o'clock,as we made our way through the trees on the way home,something happenedwe heard a noise...a grunt...everyone froze...my eyes struggled to pentrate the darkness then all of a suddensomething ran from the trees right towards us...everone tried to scatter but it was to late...the thing just ran right into us sending everyone flying...then again it disappeared into the darkness...no one was harmed but everyone was terrified...it all happened in seconds but i got a good look at the thing that had attacked us...i was right...it was dressed in dirty robes and had a large hood covering its face,there was some kind of leather banderlero across it shoulder and it carried a staff or a branch...it had used that to barge me out of the way...when everyone stopped running we were across the horses field and under the safety of a streetlamp...and everyone shared what they'd seen...everyone agreed with my discription...but one of my friends said he'd seen it's face,he said it was the face of a pig...with glowing red eyesfuck...we went to the quarry the following night and saw nothing...then every night that week...nothingeveryone at school was saying your full of shit...but still they went to the quarry each night armed to the teeth to hunt the thingas i recall it was many weeks later when we heard something had happened...the local newspaper ran a story saying a man was walking his dog late one night in the quarry when he came across a monster...he was walking around the side of the lake when something caught his attentionhe discribed just as we had done...hood and allhe said the thing looked like it was crouched over at the waters edge drinking from the lakeand when it saw his dog it ran off into the trees and was gone...the article added the details that there is underground tunnels all over the area and maybe it lived there...one ran a story about a legend of a ghost monk that had been killed by the duke of northumbria for stealing a pigs head...this was big newsthe police were there for the rest of the week...stopping people from entering the quarry at nightbut i'm not sure they believed the reports...but they would soon enougha few nights later me and my friends were sat up in the carpark near the parks entrance when we heard screamswe ran to see what was going on and we saw a group of kids running up to the police at the bottom of the hillwhere that little bridge goes over the waterfall...a policeman stood by his car whilst another sat in itthe kids were crying and said they'd been attacked by the beastwe sat and watched and listened to their story as did the policeman in between talking on his radiothe policeman in the car began to do a three point turnback then there was large trees on both sides of the roadand it was a tight turn he was making,as he reversed his headlights illuminated the treeline and there it wasthe beast...watching like a geordie michael myersthe thing jumped and ran right across the bonnet of his car and leaped into the dense forest beyondthe police,the kids and other people that had gathered ran for there lives behind the car which seemed to breakthe land speed record as it sped up the hill...the place was closed for many weeks after that but i heard stories about sighting of the thing once on a while...then the story just kind of faded awayi went to the quarry quite a bit but never saw the beast again after that nightbut as i got older i walked through the place many times when its dark taking a shortcut on the home from the puband i've heard things moving and felt as though i was being watched...its a spooky placei for one believe the place is haunted...i've seen what lives there and i'm not the only one...and the sight of that thing will stay with me for the rest of my life...

Russell Brand

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sAaIsnvIh08

2005

I found an old diary...
it said...

It’s about that time again…
It’s time to run away from the cold and jump on a plane…
To leave the small town shit for a while and go play out in the world,

Past few months I’ve been having a great time out here in England,
this place is all about drink and I’ve sure been doing a lot of that…
I spend my days in the gym and my nights getting fucked up, I can’t remember the last early night I had.
In some ways I really didn’t want to leave…but this sort of trip is what makes me…so here I was again…

A cheap holiday in other Peoples misery

I rode down to London Monday morning in the back of a local bands tour bus, packed in amongst the drums and amps and shit, we rode south and shot shit, with The Ramones in the air my hangover eventually disappeared but last nights smile stayed.

Six hours later I’m in Londons east end, brick lane where a century ago jack sent his girls to hell…

I said farewell to The Motorettes and I hauled my shit an hour further across town.
The London stinks as usual, but I like it.
I stayed that night in a friends house in Balham and skinned out early to Heathrow,
The tube is as usual a cursed journey but I quite like the solitude of these times,
Waiting around in airports…no ones idea of a good time.

Next step Los Angeles, a friends wedding and adventure
Riding the plane squashed in amongst the Jews listening to tunes and dreaming,
Oh to be in first class, my legs are just too long for this. 11 hours, who can sleep?

Here we are again…America ….it’s been six months.

LAX airport…this place is hell on earth at the best of times, not the type of place I can endure after an eleven hourer.
I’m supposed to be getting picked up here and my lifts nowhere to be seen…I wait 10 minutes and then call,

“hey…I’m at the airport man…where you at?”
“oh fuck Chris man…I’ve got the shits, I can’t come get you… your Gonna have to get a taxi out here”
“fuck man…Erm… how much is that shit?”
“100 bucks, don’t worry about it…I’ll take care of it”
so it was that, I flagged a cab…tired eyes,
a huffy Pakistani taxi driver and a ride to nowhere fast,
I arrived out there in hillbilly riverside a couple of hours later.

"here man...it's next to Van Buren...stop fuckin' cryin'"

Out there in the hills…this is cowboy town...not postcard L.A...
this house is a bmx house.
A strange day followed, a Chinese woman massaged my feet, cut my nails and waxed my brows…Cali style stuff…ha ha marvellous....she didn't really bleach my ass

I spent three months out here earlier on in the year and it’s a good place to hide from the world, a big ass ranch house with corals and stables, the whole place is surrounded by the biggest bmx dirt jumps you ever did see…widow makers each one of them....they've gave me new scars and
i hardly ride them
in fact no one rode at all in the past few days which was strange…but theres a lot of work to do before it’s wedding time, the place is busy man…everything going a hundred miles an hour.
We went back out to the airport a couple of days later to pick up the English…10 guys from home need a ride.
We get the wrong airline and keep them dudes waiting an hour…oops.
Drinks at the cowboy bar and a big ass bottle of jack daniels put a full stop on the night after a late one and everyone stretched out where they fell, the settees, the floor…the garden…this is gonna be the flavour from now on, you can bet on that.

Rest of the week It was drinks every night and of course the silliness that goes with it, these nights kinda blend into one after a while, you know what I mean…small time laughs and little to do bar torment someone or take a ride out to the store to get more booze…I really can’t remember what the hell we did for those nights…strictly business I guess…fuck that.

Weekend comes…now there’s the little matter of a bachelor party in Las Vegas…
It’s all arranged, ha ha we’ll believe that when we see it…
A big as tour bus pulls up onto the drive…a disco on wheels…a big ass Winnebago thing with a mirrored ceiling and plasma television screens, I think we squeezed twenty five people onto that shit…full volume,
5 hours of piss, crack, pills of every description followed…and a bunch of human spastics hellbent on euro rave music danced all the way there.
Fuck there was some freaks on that bus man…but it was a lot of fun.
Billy Ray Cyrus actually drove...

The time flew in a whirlwind of piss and before we knew it here we were again,

Las Vegas…sure has changed, I lived here once many years ago but the place has got swallowed up by big money stupid ass theme hotels and crazy plastic ideas…everywhere you look theres another neon monstrosity…ha ha it’s fucked up man…some of these places are just plain madness, it turned into a kids lunchbox.
Worst thing is the crazies have been driven out, that’s a shame…they were the soul…
I liked how it used to be…it had a certain style…
even freemont street ghetto got cleaned up…damn.
We got ourselves a 300 dollar room in the hard rock hotel just off the strip and decended once more on the piss.

Las Vegas nightclubs are full of shit…the bars are where it’s at,
We stayed up all weekend drinking, shooting machine guns, riding scoots, smashing things…all the things you have to do out there in the desert.
Then comes the downside…the assholes we had in tow, an especially annoying freeloading turkey, the fights, arguments, you know that shit…come Sunday night we’ve been fuckin’ abandoned, everybodys left and gone back to L.A…
We have to stay another night and hire a car to drive back to the 909.

The atmosphere got a little tense out there with the whole family at odds with each other so the English decided to fuck off for a few days out to Huntington Beach,
Once again we hired a bunch of cars and skinned out…this trip turned out to be a laugh a minute, we hired some overpriced motel and headed out to the bars, that was the story for the next couple of nights… I got so pissed I shit on a body board in the motel room…I was so hungover the next day I had to pull over in the car and throw up by the roadside…we wound up staying In the shittest motel ever for the last night, one of the guys was really scared to climb into the bed, it was full of hairs and had this big shit stain on the covers…ha ha before we left the next day we got out the marker pens and wrote all over the paintings on the walls and pissed in the draws.

We got back out to Riverside for the wedding, time to get out my marvelous new suit and my super new shoes…as weddings go people got fucked up pissed and danced their asses off but my head really wasn’t in it, my thoughts were elsewhere and I had one eye on the flight the next day, don’t want to take a hangover on a fifteen hourer,

Here I was again, back on the plane squeezed in the middle…I don’t much recall much about the flight, after a while they all blend into one…lame movies, shitty food, no sleep,

This is unfamiliar territory…It was five years ago last time I crossed the equator, last time I hated it…who knows what will happen this time.

Once again I hated Australia for the first few weeks,
Airport customs took about an hour and a half to get through…I got picked up and we caught the train out to the sticks
I was staying over in the western suburbs of Sydney in Liechharht, shacked up in some pokey little room with a mattress on the floor sharing a house with a disgraced vicar, an alcoholic skeleton, a barmaid and a normal, oh and lets not forget a shit loads of cockroaches who would run across my face in the middle of the night.
Urgh.
it was so shit…my days involved veggie burgers and hiding from fucking horse flies,
trying to read my disaster on mount everest book whilst being buzzed and bitten by them little fuckers isn’t the shit…in fact it’s crap.
I got to wondering what the fuck am I doing here?
Out here in the depths doing fuck all good except living for the piss at the weekend…
My patience wears thin.
The only good memory I have of that place is seeing that asshole kiwi pisshead trying to skateboard one day and falling over into a massive pile of cat shit…ha ha… he had that shit all over him, he cut his elbow and the shit was inside the wound…ha ha…
I felt uncomfortable in that place, I mean fuck…I don’t want to hang out with them freaks…I have nothing to say to a fat fucking vicar or a speed freak un funny man, small talk can fuck off.
After a couple of weeks it all got too much…
We left that place with an argument about rent and shit, the day we moved all our shit out I really wanted to hit that creep and possibly I should have…
too late now…just glad to get out,

Bondi saved me, I moved straight over there…
I stayed over on a friends sofa and finally enjoyed myself,
This guy has been one of the freaks for years man,
We used to hang out years ago, he’s a laugh a fucking minute…
one night when he was pissed he hung out of the window and shot his compound bow and arrow right through a parked car in the back lane outside…ha ha
I’d wake up each morning and go surf of skate Bondi skatepark, drink smoothies and shakes and eat the most marvellous sandwiches they sell out there at the beach, and of course by night we’d go out on the drink and get fall over pissed,
I know quite a few people out there…so this was a home from home, it’s always good to be amongst your people…and it’s always fun.

All good things have to come to an end…it’s time to go back to England, It’s winter, I have bills to pay and theres the little matter of shoulder surgery…hmm not looking forward to that…but it’s gotta be done

Back home and I’m having the hardest of times, nothings going right for me, I am in darkness…I shall get drunk and hope it gets better…

I need something to cheer me up…if your out there come and save me…

it doesn't happen...I'm in hospital for the next 2 weeks...

January 18 2006

I have a brand new shoulder
i sleep in the evening and stay awake all night, messed up style, I look terrible, feel even worse, this is a dark time dude and I don’t like it one bit, I’m lonely, bored, unchallenged and tired…the world got small

January 23

tv is my salvation and I hate it,
what else can I do whilst under medical house arrest,
I’ve started to try to train a little, nothing much, just a few stretches and a few set here and there to oust the cobwebs…
I really miss training and I’m going crazy with the lack of motion in my shoulder joint…just want to jump in the pool and swim but theres no way I’m gonna be able to do that for a month or so…these are the things I have to endure

January 24

Sold a few suits on some online auction to finance a new delightful suit I intend on purchasing sometime soon,

January 26

Spent the past couple of days painting yet another battle royale, seems like whenever I’m a little low on cash there’s someone out there who wants a painting of school kids killing each other,
I’m beat at the mo…sat up painting for hours has busted my back,
I’ve gotta start putting some money aside for a voyage…being trapped in my broken body has left me starved of adventure,
I need out of this place

February 1

Feeling a little better, arm works a little more than it has for a while, been pulling on those rubber ropes to try to get a bit of strength going but it’s still early days,
I’ve mostly been selling a bunch of old crap to make money, got a bunch of parcels to post off so it’s keeping me mildly busy out here,
I began dieting too…not being able to train has loosened me up and that’s no good, gonna start training in the next couple of weeks…I can’t wait

February 19

Just got back from touring with a band down the London, I fell/jumped off a balcony into a wheelie bin full of glass and hurt my back so covered in cuts and bruises and I’m aching once more…broken glass tore the ass out of my favourite jeans...a weekend of drunkenness and spendies…I bought myself two new suits too…I have a friend who’s a designer and I got measured up for a nice new two button high end number and then whilst I was waiting to meet up with a band I got seduced by a nice brown mod suit that just called out to be put on the card,
What can I do eh? These things just happen…time to behave myself anyways, tomorrow I’m gonna join the gym and start to fix myself up for summer…my shoulder injury has been putting that shit off and I’m falling into the lazy so it’s right about time I started to train, a welcome change to this first few months of the year layed up invalid…

they were the only words...

Skeleton

my skeleton feels like it is made of wood...it creaks in the wind

Christopherfrankmason...

my name is christopher frank mason...i wear tighter pants than you and i only eat beans...which means i can shit round corners and piss in a perfectly straight line...